From acceptance to peace

It is important to process every emotion that comes to us in its fullest. When they are not processed, it can make you feel stuck in the trauma of it leaving no room for self-improvement. When it comes to grief, not everyone knows how to process it. Whether grieving from a loss of business, broken marriage or losing a loved one to death, the path to curing ourselves is often not clear. It becomes unbelievable or shocking that it has happened, and the situation feels unacceptable. The most important big leap in overcoming the shock is to start accepting the truth. If you have to cry out loud, do that. If you need a long walk, do that. Process everything that comes to your mind, from the time you heard about it to the moment you let it go. 

The path through acceptance leads to what I call 'soulful'. This phase is often filled with questions of why this happened, why the fate chose you and what more you could have done differently that may have made a difference. Realizing that the fate is already written for every individual and event, there is only so much that is in man's control and the rest are in the abode of unknown future; makes it a little easier to accept. May be a reason why people often say life is an adventure.

The soulful stage of grief is filled with expressions that are to remind us of what life could have been if it had not changed. Pen down the emotions, express it through self-talks, most importantly make yourself aware that you are not alone, and your situation is not unique and is understandable.

Finding purpose of why things happened can be enlightening. It is a normal for our minds to first think from the point of view of what we lost. This is also a reason why we consider grief as irreparable. When we shift our mind to think from the point of view of what or whom we lost and remembering the never-ending battles they fought, will open up reasons to believe that everything happened for a reason. 

Grieving about your family or a friend is a feeling that can't be explained, especially when you know they left behind a big space in our life which cannot be refilled or replaced by anyone. What we did and who we interact with shapes our life. When we lose that support, we may feel weak and helpless. But we have to get back with our life in the way they wanted us to be. When we continue to live to shape our life in the way they most wanted us to become, they still live through us. Remember, there are other lives that are dependent on our smile and presence.                                     



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