A letter to myself

I was trying to decompress after a long week. It was a moment I felt only my head was above the water, feeling heavy on my chest. I wanted to settle down and express kindness. So, I decided to write a letter to myself. I thought of sharing it with you all as I felt relieved and reminded that it's okay to slow down, it's best to let time define your destiny. So, here we go..

You have been here for over four decades. First 10 years you spent learning how to talk and walk. The next 10 years were all about building a foundation, a core that you can base your future to build an identity to be known as you rather than as a daughter of. Not that its bad but it's a phase of life filled with ego and false credibility. 

The next 10 years you spent nurturing the most inevitable, your children. Bearing them in your womb, giving birth, raising them - mostly feeling alone. 

Then it was time, when life gave you the toughest lesson on how to move on without a mother who has been an integral part of your life. Mother whom you knew had all the answers to your problem, who gave you wings to fly. One morning she vanishes from your life without a recipe for life. No one to look back on when you reach the dead end to ask which direction you have to go. You were in a state of anguish when your loved one decided to depart. You held on to the guilt for giving away your mother to the ultimate healer. Then it was the relief that they she is no longer in pain. The wound that life caused remains unhealed and time has kept reminding of memories that burns through you realizing it was only short lived. 

Just slow down and take one step at a time. Days are already counted for everyone whether you speed up or slow down. But if you slow down, there is a lot of games to watch, tears to wipe and dreams to come true.